Veteran's Day

When Adam first came home

I can't believe Adam came home from Iraq only last year.  It seems like it was a different lifetime.  In a way, it kind of was.  I think I took myself out of my life for a little while.  I remember being sad sometimes that Adam was in Iraq, but most of the time I think I convinced myself it wasn't really happening.  People say that I was really strong then because I was able to push through our circumstances and stay in school and have a baby and hold it together, but I think I was just really disconnected from what was happening then.

My husband was gone for a year.  It was hard.  He wasn't just gone, but he was in a war.

I know I was strong when he was gone.  I know I pushed through pretty well and made the most of our circumstances, but I was only handling a fraction of what Adam was going through.

I had my family and friends and my home and my things and my environment and my school and my own bed.  Adam had a dirty cot in a tent with a bunch of rowdy, rough around the edges guys in their early twenties.  My husband was taken from everything that made him happy and comfortable and all of a sudden found himself in a surreal nightmare.

It did feel all of a sudden too.  I cried all the way home from dropping him off in Corvallis when he left.  I laid in bed and cried all night.  When I was finally able to talk to him after a few days, we were both in shock.  He was just here. At our home. In our bed.  Now he was in Georgia training for a deployment he shouldn't have been on.  We didn't know what the next year entailed or how we were supposed to get through it.

I remember talking to him and just feeling like this wasn't really happening.  How could this be happening? He was in class last week.  He was working at his job and eating dinner with me and going to school.  He was just here and then he was gone.

When he came home on leave and I touched his face in the airport for the first time in 6 months, it didn't seem like him.  It was weird to see him in person and I remember looking at him for a few hours convincing myself he was really there.  That week was very fast, but so important.

It was a long, challenging year.  There was bitterness, resentment, distance, and anger. Remember this and this?

It was hard, but we learned a lot and grew closer.  Our relationship is deeper now and we understand eachother better now.  That experience was going to either pull us apart or weld us together and I'm grateful we were both commited to the welding option.

I am so proud of Adam for coming through all that he faced during that year- and there was a lot.  He was strong and never gave up what he believed in.  More importantly, he kept his family in the front of his mind and the whole of his heart the whole time.

I am proud of Adam for being a veteran on this Veteran's Day because it signifies his strength during this time, as well as during his first deployment and the 10 years he was in the military.

Thank you Adam.